Research

Disassociation

The meaning of disassociation is someone feeling disconnected from their self and the world around them.

Reason I look into this topic is that it is something that happens to me a lot. Many happens when I am stressed or there is a lot going on. I wanted to explore this feeling and show it in my work. When I am disassociated this is what I experience:

- Numbness

- Blurred vision

-'Zoned out'

- Memory loss

- Feeling like I'm Dissolving

These things happened a lot. what people have told me from their perspective its like I am not even there, that sometimes I still function but they can tell mentally I'm just not present. Disassociation for me can last from minutes to hour to even days. I don't realise thing I have done or places I have been. The memory loss side of things can really effect me. sometimes I forget people that I have know for years, sometimes I forget where I live and I be stood outside my house. It doesn't scare me as much as it use to because the memories will slowly come back. Disassociation is different for everyone someone or even you may experience it very differently. I want to create work that shows those feelings I listed. the blurred faces are how I feel like my dissolving that my identity disappears when it happens.

Text and Paintings.

Following from a conversation I had with my tutor and including text in my work I went and spoke to my mum and her poem work. The poems my mum wrote about my work I feel fit in perfectly. I struggle with words and having her write from her perspective of my paintings is really interesting because she seeing the work the same as me. All the poems I have used she has given me permission to. as much as I love her poem's I feel that maybe I should try and use my own word maybe I will be able to relate more because they are my own words.

Poet: Kelsbeth Phoenix

Book used in my work: No Voice Just Words